On the same topic as last post...
Okay, I have so many threads of thoughts tangled in my head, I will try to separate them out.
A few days ago, I was working with one of our executives on an important project. She had just received notice that she needed to submit some documents by the end of that business day, so of course she was stressed out. She asked for my help. I brought my notebook into her office (I try to do this often, because I never know what they'll ask me to do that I'll have to write down to remember). Together we went through pages and pages of legalese, making sure we had everything that was requested. It was mind numbing. I didn't really understand what I was doing; she's the lawyer, not me. And every so often we'd stop because she had to sort something out by herself; something that I couldn't help with. During this time I wrote in my notebook about how, in a way, work is futile.
I wrote about how essentially, every job is to create order out of chaos. Especially mine. It seems like all I do is "fix" things that should never have been broken. I spent all day comparing records in two different reports with an online report, and then comparing my findings there with hard copies. I estimate that if I spend 2 hours a day on this, I'll have it done in about 4 months. And it's all because of turnover, because too many people have held a certain position and everyone does things differently and now it's all messed up.
I've stopped being surprised that chaos always reigns. It makes complete sense, actually. God is a God of order and creation, and sin creates chaos and destruction. So where a bunch of sinners are squished into an office building, there is no possible way that everything will ever be as streamlined and efficient as we envision it. When everything is going great, that's when the printer will break. Or when I'm feeling particularly productive on a project, that's when I'll find out that I have to start over because someone forgot to tell me a detail. Or I could be really helping people instead of consolidating two Excel sheets with a flimsy website and killing my back with hours of standing at file cabinets.
We all yearn for order, sensibility, efficiency, in our workplace. And we are never going to attain it fully because of the sin nature. But this tells me two things:
1. The fact that we strive for order in the midst of chaos shows that we are made in God's image. Even as we create chaos in one area, we insist on perfecting another.
2. The fact that we have a vision about what could be - you'll laugh, but that's what heaven is. C. S. Lewis talks about how there is always an answer for our yearnings. If you feel hunger, there is such a thing as food. If you feel sexual desire, there is such a thing as sex. And if you feel a yearning for order in this corrupted world, for a place where things work like they were designed to, then there is such a thing as heaven.
So what's my role? I'm no longer surprised with all the things that can go wrong, causing more work and headaches for everyone. But I can create little pockets of order - not because I'm desperate for my own sake, but because each pocket of order is a little picture of heaven.
More, I will be order in the midst of chaos. Not because I'm so good at staying relaxed in stressful situations (if you've read any of my past posts about anxiety, you'll know this!) but Jesus represents creation and order and he lives in me.
And even more - I can share the gospel from a perspective that my coworkers easily relate to: The paperwork isn't going to go down; we always think things will get easier after the next obstacle but they never do; do we really believe we will ever get ahead? Do we honestly think our work will ever be "done?"
There's only one hope: that someday, someone will come and erase all the chaos that we can't fix ourselves. The new earth will work like it was designed to, without the effects of sin.
Of course we won't have any more jobs, because with no sick people there will be no need for medical insurance...
Okay, I have so many threads of thoughts tangled in my head, I will try to separate them out.
A few days ago, I was working with one of our executives on an important project. She had just received notice that she needed to submit some documents by the end of that business day, so of course she was stressed out. She asked for my help. I brought my notebook into her office (I try to do this often, because I never know what they'll ask me to do that I'll have to write down to remember). Together we went through pages and pages of legalese, making sure we had everything that was requested. It was mind numbing. I didn't really understand what I was doing; she's the lawyer, not me. And every so often we'd stop because she had to sort something out by herself; something that I couldn't help with. During this time I wrote in my notebook about how, in a way, work is futile.
I wrote about how essentially, every job is to create order out of chaos. Especially mine. It seems like all I do is "fix" things that should never have been broken. I spent all day comparing records in two different reports with an online report, and then comparing my findings there with hard copies. I estimate that if I spend 2 hours a day on this, I'll have it done in about 4 months. And it's all because of turnover, because too many people have held a certain position and everyone does things differently and now it's all messed up.
I've stopped being surprised that chaos always reigns. It makes complete sense, actually. God is a God of order and creation, and sin creates chaos and destruction. So where a bunch of sinners are squished into an office building, there is no possible way that everything will ever be as streamlined and efficient as we envision it. When everything is going great, that's when the printer will break. Or when I'm feeling particularly productive on a project, that's when I'll find out that I have to start over because someone forgot to tell me a detail. Or I could be really helping people instead of consolidating two Excel sheets with a flimsy website and killing my back with hours of standing at file cabinets.
We all yearn for order, sensibility, efficiency, in our workplace. And we are never going to attain it fully because of the sin nature. But this tells me two things:
1. The fact that we strive for order in the midst of chaos shows that we are made in God's image. Even as we create chaos in one area, we insist on perfecting another.
2. The fact that we have a vision about what could be - you'll laugh, but that's what heaven is. C. S. Lewis talks about how there is always an answer for our yearnings. If you feel hunger, there is such a thing as food. If you feel sexual desire, there is such a thing as sex. And if you feel a yearning for order in this corrupted world, for a place where things work like they were designed to, then there is such a thing as heaven.
So what's my role? I'm no longer surprised with all the things that can go wrong, causing more work and headaches for everyone. But I can create little pockets of order - not because I'm desperate for my own sake, but because each pocket of order is a little picture of heaven.
More, I will be order in the midst of chaos. Not because I'm so good at staying relaxed in stressful situations (if you've read any of my past posts about anxiety, you'll know this!) but Jesus represents creation and order and he lives in me.
And even more - I can share the gospel from a perspective that my coworkers easily relate to: The paperwork isn't going to go down; we always think things will get easier after the next obstacle but they never do; do we really believe we will ever get ahead? Do we honestly think our work will ever be "done?"
There's only one hope: that someday, someone will come and erase all the chaos that we can't fix ourselves. The new earth will work like it was designed to, without the effects of sin.
Of course we won't have any more jobs, because with no sick people there will be no need for medical insurance...
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