(I'm posting this at the suggestion of several people, as the result of recent good conversations on the subject.)
This is many of us: You're in the church you've been attending for the last twenty years and it's just after the first song. The worship leader says, "Now, turn to your neighbor and greet those around you."
What's the purpose of this time? How will you use it?
To catch up with the friends you're sitting near?
To shake hands with as many people as possible, even though you don't know them?
This has been many of us: It's your first Sunday in a new church with at least 400 people in the service, so it's not obvious that you're new. At "meet and greet," a few people shake your hand, but that's it. You liked the sermon, but didn't make any connections. You're left feeling slightly annoyed that the church wasn't more "friendly", even though you also didn't initiate any conversations.
I realize that everyone is at different places in their abilities to reach out. In the midst of depression, I was incapable of initiating a relationship, maybe even a conversation - and definitely not with a stranger!
But if you have ever complained about a church not feeling friendly enough to new people, then perhaps it's time to take baby steps to learn how to become friendly to people and more than just a handshake.
I know it can be scary, but consider this: The church's meet and greet time is about 120 seconds long. That's barely enough time to tell each other where you live and work before being interrupted by the worship leader. So you don't even have to find a way to finish the conversation! Awesome, right?
Here's what I do.
As soon as the worship leader says, "Now take a moment and greet those around you," scout the area for someone who is sitting/standing alone, or a couple only talking to each other. That's your target.
You will probably have to leave your chair. You may have to brush past people and leave your row. If you're really brave, you might *gasp* cross the aisle to go to another section. And you approach your target with a friendly smile and an extended hand. And remember, it's not awkward, because this is the time we are supposed to meet and greet.
"Hi!" you say warmly. "I'm Amber, and you are...?" (I learned this conversation starter from Patti J who learned it from someone else and now I'm passing it on to you.) Ask, "And how are you connected here?" How are they involved? Does their family come? How long have they been attending? And then there are just the regular questions - do they live in the area? Have kids? Have family in the area? Work? But you barely had time to taste this great conversation before you were interrupted. "Lovely to meet you!" you say, and shake their hand again, return to your seat, and WRITE DOWN THEIR NAME. Next week, you make it a point to look for them again and greet them again at some point (and remind them of your name because they probably forgot your name, but I guarantee they didn't forget you.) Because you, my friend, have officially made your church a "friendly church."
Note: Be open to the conversation becoming more than casual I approached a woman standing by herself once, and when I asked about her family, it turned out her mother lived far away and was on the brink of death. This casual "meet and greet" time turned into me being able to comfort and pray for her. Totally unexpected. Totally God.
One meet and greet, I approached one couple who said they loved our church, but said we were the first people to actually talk to them since they'd started coming two months before. I looked for them every Sunday after that but never saw them again.
I approached another couple standing by themselves last week and said "So how are you connected? Have you been coming a while?" "Nope!" they said. "This is our first week!" I found out they have four kids. So I got to tell her about all of the awesome kid programs we have, and all the women's stuff we have that has childcare - and she was so thankful! And I was overjoyed that I "caught" them!
It may be uncomfortable to leave your bubble. But we've all been the person waiting for someone to talk to us. You can be the person who meets that need. It takes 120 seconds of courage once a week.
Tell me your stories!
This is many of us: You're in the church you've been attending for the last twenty years and it's just after the first song. The worship leader says, "Now, turn to your neighbor and greet those around you."
What's the purpose of this time? How will you use it?
To catch up with the friends you're sitting near?
To shake hands with as many people as possible, even though you don't know them?
This has been many of us: It's your first Sunday in a new church with at least 400 people in the service, so it's not obvious that you're new. At "meet and greet," a few people shake your hand, but that's it. You liked the sermon, but didn't make any connections. You're left feeling slightly annoyed that the church wasn't more "friendly", even though you also didn't initiate any conversations.
I realize that everyone is at different places in their abilities to reach out. In the midst of depression, I was incapable of initiating a relationship, maybe even a conversation - and definitely not with a stranger!
But if you have ever complained about a church not feeling friendly enough to new people, then perhaps it's time to take baby steps to learn how to become friendly to people and more than just a handshake.
I know it can be scary, but consider this: The church's meet and greet time is about 120 seconds long. That's barely enough time to tell each other where you live and work before being interrupted by the worship leader. So you don't even have to find a way to finish the conversation! Awesome, right?
Here's what I do.
As soon as the worship leader says, "Now take a moment and greet those around you," scout the area for someone who is sitting/standing alone, or a couple only talking to each other. That's your target.
You will probably have to leave your chair. You may have to brush past people and leave your row. If you're really brave, you might *gasp* cross the aisle to go to another section. And you approach your target with a friendly smile and an extended hand. And remember, it's not awkward, because this is the time we are supposed to meet and greet.
"Hi!" you say warmly. "I'm Amber, and you are...?" (I learned this conversation starter from Patti J who learned it from someone else and now I'm passing it on to you.) Ask, "And how are you connected here?" How are they involved? Does their family come? How long have they been attending? And then there are just the regular questions - do they live in the area? Have kids? Have family in the area? Work? But you barely had time to taste this great conversation before you were interrupted. "Lovely to meet you!" you say, and shake their hand again, return to your seat, and WRITE DOWN THEIR NAME. Next week, you make it a point to look for them again and greet them again at some point (and remind them of your name because they probably forgot your name, but I guarantee they didn't forget you.) Because you, my friend, have officially made your church a "friendly church."
Note: Be open to the conversation becoming more than casual I approached a woman standing by herself once, and when I asked about her family, it turned out her mother lived far away and was on the brink of death. This casual "meet and greet" time turned into me being able to comfort and pray for her. Totally unexpected. Totally God.
One meet and greet, I approached one couple who said they loved our church, but said we were the first people to actually talk to them since they'd started coming two months before. I looked for them every Sunday after that but never saw them again.
I approached another couple standing by themselves last week and said "So how are you connected? Have you been coming a while?" "Nope!" they said. "This is our first week!" I found out they have four kids. So I got to tell her about all of the awesome kid programs we have, and all the women's stuff we have that has childcare - and she was so thankful! And I was overjoyed that I "caught" them!
It may be uncomfortable to leave your bubble. But we've all been the person waiting for someone to talk to us. You can be the person who meets that need. It takes 120 seconds of courage once a week.
Tell me your stories!
Comments
Post a Comment