Part 1
Part 3
So where were we? Motivations for being nice to others. Here's a list of some:
I hope none of these are your excuses, because I am about to tear them apart. But lovingly - because you know, I wouldn't know how to tear them apart unless they have been my motivations, too. So you're in good company.
1. "I try to be nice to others so that they will be nice to me."
If you're older than two, you've learned that simply being nice to some people won't make them like you. So if this is your motivation for being nice, you're destined for disappointment.
First, you'll be disappointed for the Christian reason: that you're looking for confirmation and purpose in someone other than Christ, and you'll never be satisfied.
Second, you'll be disappointed because you're seeking niceness from the one person, of all your acquaintances, who has proven themselves unwilling to reciprocate. You're setting yourself up for failure.
This seems more like a mistake than a sin, doesn't it? Well, let me boil it down to my realization:
"I am loving someone in order to get something from them." Or even, "I am using my words and actions to manipulate that person into giving me something I want." Harsh, right? It's easy to think of myself as the meek, "too nice" person that has to grow a spine to keep from being steamrolled. But how about taking some responsibility, Amber? If I am showing someone love for any reason other than that He showed love for me, then my motives are impure. I'm actually sinning.
Like every sin, there is some truth in the principle which we all know: By being nice to others, we often receive niceness in return. It's a bonus when it happens, but it's not the reason we should be nice to others (see above!)
One more thing: This motivation is borne of fear. The negative version would be, "I don't hurt others because I don't want them to hurt me." It makes sense; no one wants to be hurt. I'm just pointing it out.
2. "I do good things because what goes around comes around."
Aka "karma." "I do good things because I want good things to happen to me." Negative version: "I don't do bad things, because I don't want bad things to happen to me." There's fear, again. Karma sounds like such a nice idea until you realize that we're all sinners and you're screwed by your own philosophy.
This statement is both untrue and frighteningly true. It's untrue, because we never see justice served on earth. Horror and disappointment fall on the good people and the bad people alike. And then joy and wealth fall on the good people and the bad people alike. I think we already know that doing good things will not automatically tip the scales to your favor, or vice versa.
But this statement is frighteningly true, because it's God's law, that what you do will affect you eventually. It's frightening, because the standard for doing good is this impossible-to-keep law, which, hate to tell you, you've already broken. So you'll get what comes around to people that break God's law, which is God leaving you to rot alone in hell. It's the most frighteningly true thing in the universe and it is the only appropriate fear, fear that drives us to God's love, and pardon from our lawbreaking.
Or, if you want to hear a less-scary argument, notice that this is just a version of "I am doing something good in order to get something for myself." It's a selfish motive.
Part 1
Part 3
Part 3
So where were we? Motivations for being nice to others. Here's a list of some:
- I try to be nice to others so that they will be nice to me.
- I do good things because what goes around comes around.
- I spread joy because it gives me purpose.
- I try to forgive others because it's the right thing to do.
- I compensate for my bad habits by doing extra good things.
I hope none of these are your excuses, because I am about to tear them apart. But lovingly - because you know, I wouldn't know how to tear them apart unless they have been my motivations, too. So you're in good company.
1. "I try to be nice to others so that they will be nice to me."
If you're older than two, you've learned that simply being nice to some people won't make them like you. So if this is your motivation for being nice, you're destined for disappointment.
First, you'll be disappointed for the Christian reason: that you're looking for confirmation and purpose in someone other than Christ, and you'll never be satisfied.
Second, you'll be disappointed because you're seeking niceness from the one person, of all your acquaintances, who has proven themselves unwilling to reciprocate. You're setting yourself up for failure.
This seems more like a mistake than a sin, doesn't it? Well, let me boil it down to my realization:
"I am loving someone in order to get something from them." Or even, "I am using my words and actions to manipulate that person into giving me something I want." Harsh, right? It's easy to think of myself as the meek, "too nice" person that has to grow a spine to keep from being steamrolled. But how about taking some responsibility, Amber? If I am showing someone love for any reason other than that He showed love for me, then my motives are impure. I'm actually sinning.
Like every sin, there is some truth in the principle which we all know: By being nice to others, we often receive niceness in return. It's a bonus when it happens, but it's not the reason we should be nice to others (see above!)
One more thing: This motivation is borne of fear. The negative version would be, "I don't hurt others because I don't want them to hurt me." It makes sense; no one wants to be hurt. I'm just pointing it out.
2. "I do good things because what goes around comes around."
Aka "karma." "I do good things because I want good things to happen to me." Negative version: "I don't do bad things, because I don't want bad things to happen to me." There's fear, again. Karma sounds like such a nice idea until you realize that we're all sinners and you're screwed by your own philosophy.
This statement is both untrue and frighteningly true. It's untrue, because we never see justice served on earth. Horror and disappointment fall on the good people and the bad people alike. And then joy and wealth fall on the good people and the bad people alike. I think we already know that doing good things will not automatically tip the scales to your favor, or vice versa.
But this statement is frighteningly true, because it's God's law, that what you do will affect you eventually. It's frightening, because the standard for doing good is this impossible-to-keep law, which, hate to tell you, you've already broken. So you'll get what comes around to people that break God's law, which is God leaving you to rot alone in hell. It's the most frighteningly true thing in the universe and it is the only appropriate fear, fear that drives us to God's love, and pardon from our lawbreaking.
Or, if you want to hear a less-scary argument, notice that this is just a version of "I am doing something good in order to get something for myself." It's a selfish motive.
Part 1
Part 3
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