I'm going to stop numbering these "the things I didn't know" and just start referencing them by Bible location. It's confusing me.
Ezekiel 16. Here's a very tame paraphrase.
God tells Ezekiel to tell the people, "Here's a metaphor of your sin. You were born to sinners and abandoned to die. I took care of you and clothed you and eventually made you my wife. Actually, I made you a queen, with fancy clothes and jewelry and luxury.
"You repaid me by sleeping with a bunch of other men."
(Also remember that God takes Israel back over and over again, but she keeps leaving God for other distractions.)
"So I'll restore you to your former state, because apparently that's what you want. No more beautiful clothes, no more status as a queen.
"BUT...I will eventually take the punishment for your sin."
So many things I want to say.
First...marriage. It's meant to be a picture of God and the church. I try not to think of it as "God thought up marriage and then decided to form a religion that looked like it." That's why he says "I hate divorce" in Malachi 2:16. Sure, he hates all sin, but divorce represents the severing of a holy relationship.
My pastor once said the unthinkable. "Divorce isn't a sin." But now I agree with him. It's a horrible thing that was never intended to happen, and it's much more than a sin.
Back up again (sorry, my thoughts are scrambled in my efforts to defend myself against the imagined multitudes that are reading this, shocked at my liberal ideas.)
I have a friend who was continually abused by her husband. Did she sin when she left him? She sure thought she did. He wanted to divorce her; she wouldn't grant the divorce because she knew Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce. Did she sin when she finally granted the divorce to him?
Here's what I think. She didn't sever the relationship; he did, when he abused her. God hates divorce, but their spiritual divorce happened long before the legal documents were signed. Her husband divorced himself the moment he stopped acknowledging her as his wife and instead saw her as a toy to be manipulated and hurt.
What about the couple who "stays together" only for their children, or for appearances, or because they don't want to "sin" by divorcing? They may be legally married, but the relationship is completely severed. I would say that, for all spiritual purposes, they are already divorced.
When I apply this to the marriage between Israel and God (or, taking it one step further - the universal church and God), I come to a stunning conclusion: People who claim to be Christians yet have no relationship with God are completely divorced from him. It's like the woman in the passage who claimed to be married to her husband, but prostituted herself out to a bunch of other men. The marriage means nothing to her.
God hates divorce, and that means so much more than legal divorce.
To end on a brighter note, what about reconciliation? There have been couples who have reconciled even after one of them had an affair. I may offend some people who have left their spouses, but I believe reconciliation WILL happen if the following conditions are true:
1. Both parties want to work through their problems, no matter what it takes - how much pain and hurt and learning that must happen
2. Both parties fully rely on God as the original designer of marriage, looking to his sacrificial relationship with the church as what their marriage should be. If they don't follow this crucial second step, they may not have the human strength to follow through with step #1.
To reiterate: If a man wants to heal his marriage and his wife doesn't, reconciliation won't be possible as long as the wife isn't interested. I have another friend whose husband had an affair and left her and her five children and moved to another country - she pursued reconciliation with him, and she fully relied on God, and he still left her. I truly believe God will bless her for her efforts and the pain she suffers. I don't think he sees her as a covenant breaker, because she didn't break the covenant; her husband did.
And my friend who reluctantly granted her abusive husband a divorce? She is not a "divorced woman" in God's eyes, but the squalling abandoned baby of Ezekiel 16 that God rescued to make beautiful.
Ezekiel 16. Here's a very tame paraphrase.
God tells Ezekiel to tell the people, "Here's a metaphor of your sin. You were born to sinners and abandoned to die. I took care of you and clothed you and eventually made you my wife. Actually, I made you a queen, with fancy clothes and jewelry and luxury.
"You repaid me by sleeping with a bunch of other men."
(Also remember that God takes Israel back over and over again, but she keeps leaving God for other distractions.)
"So I'll restore you to your former state, because apparently that's what you want. No more beautiful clothes, no more status as a queen.
"BUT...I will eventually take the punishment for your sin."
So many things I want to say.
First...marriage. It's meant to be a picture of God and the church. I try not to think of it as "God thought up marriage and then decided to form a religion that looked like it." That's why he says "I hate divorce" in Malachi 2:16. Sure, he hates all sin, but divorce represents the severing of a holy relationship.
My pastor once said the unthinkable. "Divorce isn't a sin." But now I agree with him. It's a horrible thing that was never intended to happen, and it's much more than a sin.
Back up again (sorry, my thoughts are scrambled in my efforts to defend myself against the imagined multitudes that are reading this, shocked at my liberal ideas.)
I have a friend who was continually abused by her husband. Did she sin when she left him? She sure thought she did. He wanted to divorce her; she wouldn't grant the divorce because she knew Malachi 2:16, God hates divorce. Did she sin when she finally granted the divorce to him?
Here's what I think. She didn't sever the relationship; he did, when he abused her. God hates divorce, but their spiritual divorce happened long before the legal documents were signed. Her husband divorced himself the moment he stopped acknowledging her as his wife and instead saw her as a toy to be manipulated and hurt.
What about the couple who "stays together" only for their children, or for appearances, or because they don't want to "sin" by divorcing? They may be legally married, but the relationship is completely severed. I would say that, for all spiritual purposes, they are already divorced.
When I apply this to the marriage between Israel and God (or, taking it one step further - the universal church and God), I come to a stunning conclusion: People who claim to be Christians yet have no relationship with God are completely divorced from him. It's like the woman in the passage who claimed to be married to her husband, but prostituted herself out to a bunch of other men. The marriage means nothing to her.
God hates divorce, and that means so much more than legal divorce.
To end on a brighter note, what about reconciliation? There have been couples who have reconciled even after one of them had an affair. I may offend some people who have left their spouses, but I believe reconciliation WILL happen if the following conditions are true:
1. Both parties want to work through their problems, no matter what it takes - how much pain and hurt and learning that must happen
2. Both parties fully rely on God as the original designer of marriage, looking to his sacrificial relationship with the church as what their marriage should be. If they don't follow this crucial second step, they may not have the human strength to follow through with step #1.
To reiterate: If a man wants to heal his marriage and his wife doesn't, reconciliation won't be possible as long as the wife isn't interested. I have another friend whose husband had an affair and left her and her five children and moved to another country - she pursued reconciliation with him, and she fully relied on God, and he still left her. I truly believe God will bless her for her efforts and the pain she suffers. I don't think he sees her as a covenant breaker, because she didn't break the covenant; her husband did.
And my friend who reluctantly granted her abusive husband a divorce? She is not a "divorced woman" in God's eyes, but the squalling abandoned baby of Ezekiel 16 that God rescued to make beautiful.
I agree with you Amber.
ReplyDeleteLike it says in 1 Cor 7:15 "But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
In this case where the unbeliever lives and wants a divorce, the believing spouse is not bound. My church's elders wrote a great study on divorce.
Yes! I didn't even think of that passage! Thanks for reminding me!
ReplyDeleteWhere's the like button?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I was looking for the "like" button on your comment too! (You can always share the link on Facebook if you want!)
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