Too much to say

I will never, ever, ever be able to share all of my thoughts with you!  The notes I take on sermons, the random "aha" thoughts I have, the musings on my inner life - of these, 25% make it to my journal to be ruminated on later, and 5% make it on here.  I really want to review my old journal, re-read some books that impacted me, but I'm always formulating new thoughts.  They race by; each idea seems better than the last, and each one, if I focused enough on it, seems like it could revolutionize my life, or the life of someone else.

So, recently I found out that I don't have straight depression.  Believe it or not, I have - wait for it - bipolar disorder!  Yep, the people that I have told reacted in disbelief.  But now that I have talked with my psychiatrist about the signs and symptoms, it's pretty obvious to me, and now to the people around me.  My manic phases (highs) intensify the rate of interesting thoughts that run through my brain.  Suddenly I think I am a genius.  I think the world needs to hear all my thoughts (mostly spiritual, which can also be a symptom of bipolar!)

I'm on a medication that isn't expected to work for at least a few more weeks, if not months, because I am going up on it verrrrry slowly.  Till then, I expect a few more lows and a few more highs.

I'm in a high right now, if you couldn't guess.  I have been extremely productive, joyful, sociable, smiley.  I've been hyper-alert, tense, always anticipating the next thing to do.  And you may have guessed, my bipolar isn't as serious as some peoples'.  I don't believe I can drive with my eyes closed; I feel invincible but I don't believe I am; I am not violent, and I recognize that this "high" is temporary and not normal.

Still reading through Ezekiel, and boy, do I have a lot to share!  Expect it soon.