Can you make me a sandwich?

I was looking forward to watching kids during the church service today (until, I admit, I caught sight of a child that is never very easy to work with, and that is bad of me) but was told that the sermon was "really good" and Susan would watch the kids if I wanted to sit through the service.  So I did, and for once the doodling on my bulletin served not only to keep me awake, but to help me remember some things.  These things are probably profound only to me; after all, the Holy Spirit works in everyone differently. 

But I'll still share them, because how can I not share God working in me and changing my attitude?  If you must suffer through my discouragements and complaints, you certainly have the right to celebrate joy with me.

The sermon focused on 1 Samuel 30:6 - "But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God."  The context is important, of course, so you can hear the rest of the sermon here when they put up the September 4 one titled "Kidnapped!"  Or just read 1 Samuel 26-30.  Or the whole book for that matter.

Anyway, as a Christian I am often reminded that any blessing I receive is not my doing; it is from God.  When I try to help myself, I fail, but when I trust God, I succeed (even if my success isn't what I thought I wanted).  Maybe that's why my first instinct was to be offended that this verse would suggest David actually strengthened himself.  Didn't he know that strength comes from God?  I certainly do; I certainly know how weak I am until God strengthens me.  Stupid David.  First you rely on your own strength, then you peeping tom a naked woman bathing, get her pregnant, then kill her husband so you can marry her? Self-reliance is a slippery slope, my friend.

To my surprise, Tommy preached as if David had done something good in "strengthening himself," because he "strengthened himself in the Lord his God."  And here's the reason: David was proactive, not passive.

I used to mother my dear friend Becca when we were fifteen.  I was convinced she didn't eat enough because she was never hungry.  Ever the nurturer, I would always greet her with the same questions when she walked in the door:  "Are you hungry?  Are you thirsty?  Can I get you some ice water?  Can I make you a sandwich?"  Eventually the phrase "Can I make you a sandwich" became code for "I'm here to help you; just say yes."

I'm passive.  I wait for healing to come to me.  I wait for God to strengthen me.  After all, we are supposed to wait on the Lord.  But I do believe I've been living like a baby Christian who cries incoherently when I'm hungry instead of just asking God to make me a sandwich.  David asked God to make him a sandwich, and God did.  David did not:

• Whine, complain, or cry because he was hungry.
• Get mad that a sandwich didn't appear from another source.
• Try to make his own sandwich from resources he didn't have.
• Pretend he didn't need a sandwich as long as he said "I trust God."

(These four things, minus the sandwich idea, are taken straight from Tommy's sermon)

I guess I thought that if I proactively seek to make myself stronger, I'm sinning or not trusting God or something.  But today I learned that God invites me to seek his strength - to strengthen myself!  I have a right to do this; Satan absolutely cannot stop me from asking.  And everyone who asks, receives.  (Again, disclaimer; I'm not saying that God gives you everything you want.  I'm saying that God gives you everything you need, if you ask for it.)

(Cue random thoughts that don't fit in with the stuff above)

Now that I think about it, I have "strengthened myself" before.  I strengthen myself when I choose to go to Bible Study and be around women who encourage me.  Or when I choose to actually do my Bible Study lesson.  But I always think that this strength is a permanent fix; that I should never be down again after that.  Surprise surprise:  I'm always disappointed. 

Because daily I get down, especially with depression.

And that means one thing:  Daily I must proactively strengthen myself in my Lord.

And it means another thing:  I am first responsible to strengthen myself in the Lord before I strengthen others in the Lord.  Otherwise I'll get burned out, or worse, judgmental.

Tommy pointed out the difference between saying "God will help me" and "My God will help me."  The second shows a personal relationship.  And I'm going to try to remind myself of that relationship by saying "my" in front of God, just like I say "my" in front of "mom, dad, sister, aunt, friend, oma, etc.

It's amazing.  If I make the tiniest bit of halfhearted effort to let the Holy Spirit teach me during a sermon, I receive so much.

God already made me a sandwich today. It is deeeee-licious!