Deliverance!

Anyone who has experienced depression or anxiety knows how it feels to be "lost." You have a vague memory of how you used to be, but somehow that person has disappeared. You're not yourself and you know you're not yourself.

Well, you know I have an anxiety disorder. Now I'll tell you that I take medication for it, and I recently had my medication changed because it wasn't working. And things have gradually been getting better. And today - WOW! I've been so motivated, so energetic, so full of love. Joe asked, "Who are you and what did you do with my wife?" I laughed and said, "This is the wife you married; the wife I always tried to be, but couldn't." What a blessing to have a husband who loves "in sickness or health."

Today is not a day to focus on sin. Today focuses on deliverance from sin! No, depression is absolutely a medical condition and not a sin, but it falls into the category of "sickness" that would not exist if evil were not in the world. Can you imagine heaven, where every person is healed? That includes all mental disorders and depression! People will see their relationships clearly!

Even though I didn't cause my depression through sin, I can rejoice that God delivered me from it. I can connect God healing my mind with God healing my spirit: his forgiveness heals my spirit, and his touch heals my mind.

Are you in a fog? Do you suspect you might have depression, but you keep telling yourself it's "all in your head?" It takes me months to see a doctor because I think I'm imagining things, and I think this is the way life should be. Our workaholic culture values people who can ignore their own needs. But think of all the people you are close to: it's selfish not to get help.

I've never met a Christian who told me not to take anti-depressants. Depression feels like reality, but it's not: it's a disease, and anti-depressants can help. I'm seeing the world for the first time in months, people, and it's deliverance from God.

If people have told you that you might be depressed; if you suspect depression but don't want it to be true; if you don't suspect depression but feel you can't be happy - please see someone. There are two things that keep people from seeing a doctor for depression: Depression demotivates people so they have no will to call the doctor, and depression doesn't physically hurt, so there's no sense of urgency to see a doctor.

I frantically called the doctor out of pain when my wrists and hands hurt so much that I couldn't drive. I called out of fear of infection when I got scratched all over by a feral cat. While it's pain or fear that drives us to the doctor, neither is present in depression.

That's why you MUST have a person who will do the following:

• Research doctors for you/with you (I always see my primary care physician first, then a specialist if I need to).
• Help get your insurance in order, or to budget for cash payment.
• Make appointments for you/with you.
• Drive you to and from appointments.
• Help you write down what you want to cover in appointments (believe me, if you're depressed you won't remember everything.)
• Remind you to pick up medication from the pharmacy
• Remind you to take your medicine
• Check in and encourage you; medicine doesn't change everything overnight

And don't tell me you're "one of those people who doesn't like to take medication." Because nobody likes to take medication. Medication means you're weak, you're sick, you're unable to function well on your own. But if taking medication means you will be a better wife/husband, father/mother, sister/brother, aunt/uncle, grandma/grandpa, or friend - then isn't it selfish not to?

I found this handy Depression Screening that seems pretty sound. Though many tests exist, this website acknowledges that everyone feels sad at one time or another, and allows you to register and track your moods.

This is valuable information for your doctor, because even depressed people have good days. Suppose after six months of depression, you visit your doctor on a day you feel happy. The depression feels like a dream; you don't even know why you're seeing the doctor. Depression makes you fuzzy. You can't remember things. The answers to these questions give the doctor concrete information.

All the love in the world,

Amber